Mothering: Lessons I'm Learning

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five." - groucho marx Happy (late) Mother's Day to all you fabulous mamas out there! Random thoughts upstairs that I'll spill onto paper. Maybe this list can be a work in progress...

1. Oxiclean can remove anything (and not just from clothes - from couches, carpets...)


2. If I am trying to do many things at once (always), I feel stressed out. If I choose the children, it's a decision I will never regret. Simplify.


3. How I conduct my relationships, talk to others and in general live my life is always being watched, ingested and emulated. In that respect, there is no line between a 'me' and the 'parent' that I am.


4. Free reign on the inside of an automobile is a little boy's wonderland - and it can be a great car tutorial for the parents. We learned that our car has a key-less auto start, as a "safety" feature (your car starting is not the best sound to hear when you are not in it, but your 2 year old is).


5. How many times have I thought, a young male engineer without kids designed this?


6. I think instilling self esteem is one of the single most important responsibilities of a parent. It is the foundation which all relationships will be built on. The lens that all of life will be viewed through. It's the determining factor for how much their jug of happiness can hold.


7. I try to make parenting choices based on what will instill self discipline - get our kids to think on their own, make amends. For example, it is my hope that our kids will make choices because they are the right ones to make, not just because a teacher told them to do it.


8. One place you really want to avoid at all costs: The ER


9. Does it really matter? Are the kids okay?


10. As a natural-born over-reacter, I have tried, over the last 3 years, to learn to respond rather than react. This requires eons of thought, preparation, & scenario playing before "discipline opportunities" ever arise. This TRULY makes parenting a full-time job.


11. As my good friend once said: It's not the parenting part that's hard. Being a bad parent is easy. (You want to eat that for breakfast? Sure! You're not ready for bed yet? Not a problem.) It's being a good parent that's hard.


12. Humor is the great diffuser.


13. I don't always do anything. Sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I get it right.


14. What they say about a Mother's Instinct is true. Learning to trust it is hard. As my good friend pointed out - our society teaches us to not trust ourselves, our bodies. There is a product out there to 'fix' everything. Yet, often, we already have the answer.


15. Drink wine.

More ramblings and revelations: Nathaniel Branden from his book The Psychology of Self Esteem: "There is no value judgment more important to man, no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation--than the estimate he passes on himself... The nature of his self-evaluation has profound effects on a man's thinking processes, emotions, desires, values, and goals. It is the single most significant key to his behavior." I love the book 'How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk'